Reeetsard won’t be the same without you

Reeetsaard left da Piripin last Saturday. And things are still the same because Reetsard is a pren. In my half-drunk state, I was fortunate to witness the turning point of this wunderful creature’s life a few years ago.

It was in the highlands of Baguio where Reeetsaaard was banging his head against a wooden bench after drinking a bad combination of Tequila and Southern Comfort. A typical adventurous hairy man, that Reetsard guy, he was spinning around. And our Ancient Ones (TLS forefathers) took notice.

He was assisted by two Ancient Ones and Papa Jonz to commit one of the most reviled act any man would do to liquor…and that is to puke it all out.

Put your finger inside your mouth and play with your tonsil until it’s teased to push out all the poison inside. PWE.

But our Reetsard buoy, who was led to the hostel toilet, was curious enough to know how to bowl. Este, know the toilet bowl. With his hand.

Remembering the instructions of how to puke, Reeetsssaaard was about to do just that but he had his friends beside him. All of them were asking, “please Reetsaaard get back to reality!”.

And then he uttered one of the greatest, most profound, all-encompassing, life-changing, nirvanic words ever heard in history…

“LIFEBUNNY”.

AND HIS LIFE BEGAN TO CHANGE. In that instant, that little bar of bathsoap called LIFEBUOY is now called LIFEBUNNY.

And now my song for you, Reeetssaaard, wherever you are, whatever you do, we will be right here, waiting for you.

Ahuhuhuhuhu!

REEEETSAAARD won’t be the same without you!
REEEETSAAAARD won’t be the same if you go!
ALL I NEED TO SEE STANDING BY MY REEETSAAARD’S tree (IS YOU)
REEEETSAAARD won’t be the same without you!

bring back, bring back, bring back our REEETSAAARD
to me! to me!

bring back, bring back, bring back our REEETSAAARD

to me!


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THE PORTRAIT OF OUR LIFEBUNNY. The only existing picture of this rare specimen.