When I was a little boy, I used to have this discussion with friends in my old neighborhood about comics. The talk would usually lead to the question: Who’s the most powerful being? Who can beat Batman? Who can crush the Iron Man? Who’s the ultimate bad ass?
It would end up with a unanimous answer: The one who wields the Infinity Gauntlet. To those who aren’t in the know, the Infinity Gauntlet is a glove that has six gems. Each gem respectively has control over an aspect of the universe: Time, Space, Mind, Soul, Reality, and Power. It’s like having Aladdin’s magic lamp but way cooler than summoning a purple genie.
Instead of a wish list, the Infinity Gauntlet gives you more of an active role. The Infinity Gauntlet wills it. You have infinity wishes.
Below are items to complete the sentence. Take note that the list deals with the current timeline. I will not undo the past even if I had the power to do so.
Without any further delay, behold!
If I had the Infinity Gauntlet, I will:
- Ban forever local showbiz talk shows. I think they’re a waste of time and lack relevance.
- Remove local TV shows that have the usual plot (The Api vs. Mayaman; Guess who’s the parent?; Love story gone complicated because of feuding families; The transformation of the Api to go toe to toe against the antagonist; ANYTHING SEEN IN PRIME TIME TELEVISION NOWADAYS). Do we have anything new aside from madrama genre?
- Commission filmmakers to do documentaries about Intramuros to be shown in Discovery Channel.
- Remove the tableaux of Rizal’s execution in Luneta. It’s just too much. There are a lot of people who would like to remember this man’s death rather than his life’s works.
- Clean up the Pasig River.
- Connect the islands by bridges, fast trains, and good roads.
- Close down factories that cause pollution, arrest smoke-belchers, and impose stiff fines to violators.
- Kill all criminals (‘yung napatunayan beyond reasonable doubt) by bringing back the Death Penalty.
- Increase taxes on alcohol and tobacco. They’re cheap here and we had too much of them.
- Concentrate efforts on increasing the middle class. Puro na lang masa ang focus, pa’no ang middle class?
- Complete the restoration of Intramuros and remove establishments and people who aren’t helping in making it look good.
- Have people who were caught littering to serve as Metro Aides for a day or a week depending on the amount of trash thrown. Gusto mong maging tourist destination ang lugar mo? DAPAT malinis muna.
- Return the sidewalks to the pedestrians.
- Establish a commission to review our educational system with real goals to improve our present standards.
- Have Hooters recruit those women who dance illegally for a living and pay them obscene amounts of money.
Wait. This reads like things that a president can do. As the owner of the Infinity Gauntlet, I can become…
Experience? I got tons of ’em. I know my constituents/subjects.
I also got a pledge from Mindanao with Councilor Jerly Areja acting as its representative from Bukidnon.
Oh boy, I really can’t wait. I just can’t wait to be king.